MeMoriEs aRe foRevEr tHerE.....

~~Friday, July 29, 2005~~

9:07 PM

I got so many things to do for tis weekend:
i got to finish revising my work..
i got to go meet my classmates to do our pw..
i wan to meet my beloved gang for any possible kbox session..
i wan to go collect my contact lens..
~~i wan to sleep~~
~~i wan to slack~~
argh..
everything..
i am so stress up again..
hate it..

after yesterday..
i realise i am nt the only one struggling..
my beloved friends are in the sort of same situation ..
i noe tt althou each situation varies frm one another..
bt i guess the feeling of being a failure sux..
we all noe tt rite?
thus i jus wan to say..
lets jia you together..
no matter wat happen we still haf one another to lean on..
rite?

actually i am wondering..
who can we really trust in tis world?
izzit ur parents?
ur siblings?
ur friends?
or jus nobody?
i do haf ppl whom i trust alot..
bt then not in jc..
not with the clique that i haf..
cos they are dishonest wif one another..
i tink they realli sux lor..
cos i hate tis kind of ppl..

i also hate the feeling of being alone..
i hate to be the one to be left out..
i can be very cheerful..
bt deep down in my heart..
i am sobbing..
maybe i am jus too sensitive..

sometime life is simply jus too unfair..
ppl like her1 can have two boyfriends..
and both of them treat her like some long-lost treasure..
i jus can't stand her of two-timing..
she tink its perfectly fine..
no guilt at all..
thou she is my friend..
i really wan her to like stop wat she is doing..
u may enjoy now..
bt i guess u will suffer real hard nxt time..
and also ppl like her2..
something is jus wrong wif her ethique..
for example..
jus a simple plate of rice..
she can take more than 30min to finish..
the reason is cos she need to inspect every grain of her rice..
c whether gt any possible bateria or virus arh?
argh..
i tink i am jus too ~~niao~~ petty arh?

someone correct me..
i tried to ~~accept~~ tolerate..
but i jus can't take it down..
i tink i am going to explode..
then they keep accusing me of those small little things..
i am sick of it..
jus stop it can or not?

Will you ever notice me...

~~Tuesday, July 26, 2005~~

10:08 PM

I found out most of my blogs are all negative..
wat can i do?
i am depressed..
my life sux again..
i tink u can guess that tis blog is going to be a negative entry AGAIN..
haix..
never imagined myself to burst out in tears in sch..
was doing my A level chem spa..
had quite high expectation..
cos tis is the ~~ONLY~~ one of a few chances for me to score..
great..
i flung EVERYTHING...
i really wanted to burst out in front of the teacher..
bt i control myself..
after the pra..
i ~~run~~ walk to the toilet..
and locked myself there for like 30min?
was crying n crying n crying..
jus dunoe y i flung it..
i did everything correctly..
even the teacher cannot spot my mistake..
but then the results were wrong!
haix..
i hate it..
i am working so hard for it..
now everything is gone..

regarding my friends that problem..
i mean we r nt kids anymore rite?
jus gif in and tok to each other..
y mus make till the problem seemed so complicated now..
i ~~hate~~ dun like their way of doing things..
i mean i can accept ~~some~~ a little..
bt mostly i jus dun like..dislike..hate..
i am like in the middle..
make me now the cause of the whole problem..
which is nt true!
argh..
i jus hate it..
frm now on..
let me go..
u all go ur way..
stop using me as a shield..
i am tired of that reason..

Will you ever notice me...

~~Friday, July 22, 2005~~

11:52 PM

It had been ages that I had last blogged..
Been trying hard to work hard..
And sort of finish my hw on time..
~~study~~ read thru some of the notes..
But none went into my head..
At least I tried k?
Haha..
Anyway..
Yesterday was racial harmony day..
I wore a Indian traditional sari!!
Haha..
It was a wonderful experience..
Cos u got to noe the difficulties in wearing it..
And of cuz smth that is embrassing to reveal here..
~~in which my friend stepped on my sari and we two almost fell together~~
Haha..

And for one or another reason..
Maybe is cos the ONE SMALL chocolate bar tt I ate on wed..
I am sick frm Thursday till now..
Sore throat..
Fever on n off..
Cough..
Running nose..
Blah blah..
It was terrible..
I was suffering for the whole day today..
Feel so sick..
Bt then dunoe how to tell my friends..
Tink they will tink I am dao or wat..
Hope they will understand..
Its weekend again!
Time to enjoy n relax..
Bt then sigh…
I am sick..
Wat can I do much rite?
i will try..
gif it a try cos i will nv noe wat will happened rite?
maybe i will get some surprise or smth?
~~i am bluffing myself can't u see?~~

oya..special thx to becky for teaching me to do the strike out thing..
and not forgetting tt the funniest joke of the month...
to kel:
u noe wat i am referring..
haha..i dun wan to mention it..
bt its so funni..

Will you ever notice me...

~~Sunday, July 17, 2005~~

6:28 PM

Q1.wat haf i promise myself?
Answer:i rem i promise myself to study hard

Q2.wat am i doing here now?
Answer: blogging

Q3.wat am i doing jus now?
Answer: trying to study bt jus cannot concentrate

Q4.wat am i doing yesterday?
Answer: eating supper and playing pool till ard 2am

Q5.wat is my mood today?
Answer: happi cos its a sunday ;
...............sad cos i am nt doing work ;
...............angry cos i read smth i shld nt read;

Conclusion: i am moodless to do anything...

Will you ever notice me...

~~Friday, July 15, 2005~~

10:02 PM

Today was a bad day..
starve from 0645-1330..
as a result..
gastric pain..
it was terrible..
stomach pain..
vomit..
argh..
luckily my friends were very kind to me..
at least i noe they do care for me..
haha..
was looking forward to the excursion..
EXCURSION..
miss tt word?
yea..
i luv excursion..
but..
IT WAS CANCELLED AT THE LAST MIN..
argh..
bt luckily it was postpone to nxt week..
i gt smth to look forward to again..
haha..

gotten work hard again for the tis weekend..
gotten finish up all my work..
gotten TRY studying..
gotten watch tv..
gotten relax..
gotten sleep lots lots..
gotten go online..
gotten conference..
gotten....

Will you ever notice me...

~~Monday, July 11, 2005~~

9:12 PM

I am stressed out!
TOTALLY..
i mean in the way whereby i flung all my tests..
how am i going to face my parents?
i got nothing to say..
i tink my cries would prove everything..
how i going to burst out in tears when they gif back the nxt test
or they annouced tt i failed my minimum requirements..
how they going to treat me..
i tink life sux totally..
having to put on a cheerful face even if u fail ur tests..
i am always the strong one isn't it?

Will you ever notice me...

~~Saturday, July 09, 2005~~

11:49 PM

Reading thru ur own testimonial tt ppl had left behind..
makes me so emotional..
u can recall back those times..
whereby u n whoever had tt wonderful period of time together..
my sec classmates..
my pri classmates..
i guess those r really days which i look BEHIND to..
maybe i shld print it all out..
jus in case friendster crash or smth..
haha..
jus jking..
i guess it does cheer me up abit..
if u happen to read tis..
leave a testimonial for me k?
thx alot.. :)

Will you ever notice me...

~~Friday, July 08, 2005~~

9:15 PM

today was nt a gd day..
i am tired as usual..
worst..
i felt so lost again..
i realise no matter how big ur circle of friends is..
u might not even find one whom u trust..
one whom would stay by ur side..
i experience tt today..
i suddenly realise tt y i am drifting apart frm them..
i cannot haf both sides of the world..
i hate it..
esp when its the end of the day
where we need to part..
we would go on separate ways..
however..
u all would be going off happily wif ur friends..
wat abt me..
i guess its tt feeling again..
i hate tis feeling..
i dunoe how to get rid of it..

i wan to learn to be independence..
i will wipe all my tears away..
i will stand up on my own when i fall..
i wan to be the one whom everyone look upon..

Will you ever notice me...

~~Wednesday, July 06, 2005~~

10:47 PM

Today was a boring day..

So boring till i started to flip my phonebook

hoping tt i can find some1 to msg to..

to cure my boredom...

Will you ever notice me...

~~Tuesday, July 05, 2005~~

10:12 PM

Today not a veri gd day...
was like parents nagging in the morning..
cannot concentrate in class..
getting butterflies in my stomach..
FINALLY
the chinese oral arrive..
its alrite..
then stay back in sch to finish up chem..
eee..
chem sux..
due to the guiltiness..
i went back to my sec sch to get my O level cert..
all alone..
poor me..
so lonely..
blah blah..
did alot of things alone..
i feel that actually i am nt that independent..
i am one whom actually need accompany..
now then i realise..
suddenly felt that i am so useless..
nth to cheer me up..
feeling so down..
any1?

Will you ever notice me...

~~Sunday, July 03, 2005~~

12:34 AM

Jus finish reading beck's blog..
Fantansic..
did i get the spelling correct?
anything..
beck's blog was really funni manz..
i tink i read thru it at least three time..
i laugh n laugh n laugh..
for one or another reason..
anyway..
i wan the pics!!
send it to me..
cos i am proud of myself..

anyway went to watch inital D le..
not bad..good..quite good..
choose one urself bah..
haha..
luv my bro lots..

jus wan to say thx to bh for telling me tt he would always be my best best friend..
who would care for me n share my joy n sorrow..
cos i tink sometime i am really down..
a simple sentence like tt..
means alot to me..
really brighten up my day..
and touched my heart..
thx alot for being my best best friend too..
willing to listen to my grumbles.. :)
hope u noe tt i will also be at one corner of the world praying for u too!
dun run away wif ur submarine k?
i will chase after u wif my rocket..
haha...(LAME)

Will you ever notice me...

~~Saturday, July 02, 2005~~

11:41 PM

Everybody lets scream!!!!!
Argh..
guess wat did i do today??
i went kbox..
woah..
i tink we r real mad tis time round..
cos its also becky's birthday!!
*big hug*
thou is nt today..
bt we still sang birthday song..
had a birthday cake..
i ate two pieces which is FULL of cream..
oh no..
i can feel the F AT N E S S now..
(is there such a word..haha)
save me..
we bought her a perfume..
was like going to die yesterday on choosing her present..
walk on n on to search for chomel perfume ..
bt dun tink they sell it at orchard..
thus went to *ahem* to try out ALMOST every single perfume tt is sold there..
tink we smell till like going to haf nightmares of perfumes tumbling on us..
some smell like feng you..
worst..
haha..
anyway..
i am proud to announced my mission on wrapping the present wif like ard 15 sheets of newspaper was successful!!
and not forgetting wendy's mission to bring all sorts of plastic bags eg. NTUC, shop & save..
it does bring SMILES on to becky face...
hope she ENJOY...
haha..
anyway...
we scream..
we shout..
we jump..
we dance..
pratically everything u can imagine a crazy person will do..
bt as usual..
tis is our lifestyle..
accept it..
haha..
if nt life will be sooo boring..
i tink the peak is sooooooo fun..
i keep singing to myself at home..
die..
cannot stop..
cannot forget how the 4 of us HIGH till ..
i shall not say the details..
haha..
sooooo nice..
i tink life would be meaningless wif out tis gang..
every single of us haf diff roles to play..
if one is missing..
is jus like jigsaw puzzle..
it will be incomplete..
luv always~~

Will you ever notice me...

~~Friday, July 01, 2005~~

9:29 PM

"When You Believe - mariah carey"

Many nights we pray
With no proof anyone could hear
And our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understand
Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains long
Before we know we could
Oah yes
There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who know what miracle
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe
In this time of fear
When prayer so often proves in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away
And now I am standing here
My heart's so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say
There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frailIt's hard to kill
Who know what miracle
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe
They don't always happen when you ask
And it's easy to give in to your fear
Ohhhhh
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see you way safe through the rain
Thought of a still resilient voice
Says love is very near
There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who know what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe
You will when you believe
You will when you believe
You will when you believe
Just believe
You will when you
Believe

-tis is the song introduced by passby...
is it jus my luck or its fated?
believe it or not..
i have been searching for tis song..
jus dunoe wat is the name nor the singer..
anyway thx alot to passby

Will you ever notice me...

1:50 PM

Argh...
missing blogging alot..
cos cannot find any other ways to vent my anger..
been really busy tis whole week..
the world seeemed to haf collapse down on me..
lots of hw..
bio test = gone case
projectwork in which i worked on till 2am last nite..
been stretching my limits in stress management..
anyway..
i tink there are more to cum..
cos being a very want-to-try-bt-in-the-end-lazy-to-go person...
i signed up for several courses..
which would make my school days end even later than usual..
anyway..
as requested by BECKY..
haha..
after reading her blog..
wan to tell her that i am really happi that i am also one of the names mentioned!
cos i dunoe y..
always haf the feeling thou i am in the grp..
i am the youngest thus i would always be left out or smth..
bt now really glad to noe tt i am part of the grp n will always be rite?
unless i got fired by KELVIN or WENDY..
saying that i am inefficent in answering my hp..
LIMIN complaining that she is bored n wans me to entertain her..
bt then i always reject her by telling her tt i need to study or do hw..
and blah blah..
haha..
thx alot to every1...

anyway back to my sch life..
as usual had always been bad..
especially there is a change in timetable..
no more common breaks wif eyecandies anymore..
sob sob..
as a result = stress level increases
1.rushing of homework had became a daily routine..
2.slping at every possible breaks..
3.dying to lay on the bed every morning for extra 5min or so of slp..
4.pissed off at every single pek chek things..
5.dying to pon any lessons and go home to slp
that is my life in sch...
sigh..
oya...i having aches everywhere..
thanks to the pc that i had on wednesday..
-1.2km of WARM UP
-climbing and coming down of 10 storey worth of stairs
-some harsh jumping exercise
it so super painful..
climbing n going down the stairs seemed to be a torture to me..
smile!

Will you ever notice me...